TIT for TAT

Venke has been one of my best friends since my second year of engineering. A well spoken soft guy with the ability to lie to anyone in this world in the most difficult of circumstances. An art cultivated and practiced on most of his friends including me. His proficiency in telling lies grew to an extent where people would believe only if he lied. Recently my buddy got engaged. Hearty congrats to him on my behalf and the rest of the gang. Since the ceremony was supposed to be a simple one, he thought it would not be good enough to invite his friends. Got to know about the engagement only after he uploaded his pictures on the net. Felt really bad about the incident and decided that its time to let him know what friends are for.

June 19th, 2009

I decide to call him up from a different number and give him a dosage of his own medicine. I need a name to start with. "Sunder" was the first name which struck my head. To make it interesting i decided to stick with "Somsunder". Needed an accomplice in the act and who better than one of his famous victims "Suman"


With My plot ready i call him up in the evening. Given below is the transcript.

Somsunder (me): Hello

Venke: Hello

Somsunder (me): Am I speaking to Mr Venkatesh

Venke: Yes, speaking

Somsunder (me): Mr Venkatesh. I am one of the members of your management committee. I have been assigned the task of speaking to you regarding your performance over the last one year and the contribution you have made to the company. May i know what are you working on?

Venke: I have been working on support for ...... blah blah blah (His honest answers sound
different)

Somsunder (me): I have been working out the statistics of your teams performance and i am seeing a negative curve for the past one year. The last quarter has been the most significant downturn of all. I am not blaming you or anybody for their performance but as a team, the performance showcased has been very poor for the last quarter. This has actually forced the management to take some hard decisions.

Venke: ohhh

Somsunder (me): Mr Venkatesh. Please do let me know when you will be free next week so that i can speak to you in person. This discussion is confidential and please do not let out information.

Venke: I am free the whole of next week

Somsunder (me): Don't you have any work to do?

Venke: My shift starts at 2:30 PM. I will be available in the office after that.

Somsunder (me): Ok Mr Venkatesh. Can we meet up at 4 PM on Monday. Its very important for me to reveal you this information.

Venke: Sure.

Somsunder (me): Can you book a meeting room on Monday for 4-5 PM? I would be very happy if you can get a smaller meeting room booked.

Venke: I will book the conference room for monday from 4-5 PM.

Somsunder (me): Thanks Mr Venkatesh. Will call you in another 15 minutes after checking on your details of work in the company. I cannot assure you that the news i might be revealing will make you feel happy, but i am forced to do it. Will call you after fifteen minutes

Venke: Ok


Soon after this i call up my accomplice "Suman" and asked him to call up Venke

Suman: Hey man, how are you? Where is the treat for the engagement?
Venke: Man, i am in the office. Doing some urgent work. Will call you in another ten minutes.


Suman reports back to me with overcast conditions and tense situation at Venke's office.


Somsunder (me): Hello Mr Venkatesh. Its me. I am back.

Venke: Who?

Somsunder (me): I had called you up earlier regarding the meeting on Monday. You seem to lack the ability to remember people, expecially your higher ups.

Venke: ohhh. Sorry. Can i know your name Sir?

Somsunder (me): My name is Somsunder

Venke: OK

Somsunder (me): Let me put it out to you straight. The company has been running on loss for quite some time and we have identified a few teams that have been the cause. Your team has been chosen one among them. The management has decided to cut down its staff by 10-12 %. You are one of the probable in the list.

Venke: Oh my god. Are you sure. I don't think it should be that way. Are you serious

Somsunder (me): Mr Venkatesh. you are not able to access the seriousness about the situation. The situation is very bad. We have already started on the process last monday. You might have already noticed a few people missing from your office.

Venke: No i haven't noticed. Can i know the names of those people?

Somsunder (me): Sorry Mr Venkatesh. The information is confidential and cannot be revealed under any circumstances. You might not have noticed it because you are the first one i am speaking to in your team. You should have noticed people missing only from other teams.

Venke: Can I meet up with you sometimes.

Somsunder (me): I did say that i will be meeting you up on Monday. I am just hoping that its not your last day at the office.

Venke: Please dont say that. I have worked really hard for the past few years.

Somsunder (me): Listen Mr Venkatesh. Please don't think that it is a haste decision and it has been taken only by me. The decision has come from a panel of experts appointed for the same. Your profile details are already available with them. They will be looking into your work details and come up on a fair decision whether to let you to continue in the office or not. I will be available with that detail only by monday morning. I have already fired a few people and hope it doesn't happen in your case. Am just keeping my fingers crossed.

Venke: Thats really bad to know..

Somsunder (me): Please don't worry Mr Venkatesh. The company wont let you go empty handed. you will be carrying home about 4-6 months salary based on your performance.

I ask him for a treat even after saying that i might be giving him the pink slip ....too much. it just came off in the flow.. not intended

Somsunder (me): Mr Venkatesh, I recently got to know that you have got engaged. Where is the treat?

Venke: (surprised).. I never told that in the office.

Somsunder (me): (Oops touched the wrong thread, Have to make it up now)... There as been a recent mail thread in circulation about your engagement with your pictures. Got to see it yesterday

Venke: Ohh.... (man, this guy knows everything about me)

Somsunder (me): Just a few more questions Mr Venkatesh

Venke: Sure ....

Somsunder (me): Have you invested in any of our company's mutual funds. (I actually meant has he given a treat to his friends)

Venke: No. i Haven't done that

Somsunder (me): Thats a very bad news Mr Venkatesh. We believe that people who have invested in our company's funds trust our company's abilities. I dont think this is going to help out. We do have a soft corner for the people who have faith in the company. in fact we have not removed a few people since they trusted the company and invested money in the same. For you now everything boils down to your work over the past one year.

Venke: I never knew about it

Somsunder (me): Hopefully its not too late. Best of luck Mr Venkatesh. Will catch up with you on Monday to discuss the details. Please do not reveal this information to anyone. Hope you understand my situation also. If the panel of experts are not convinced by your work, then I will be handing over the pink slip on Monday. Thanks

Venke: Thanks

Meanwhile i call suman and ask him to reveal the plot before it too late.

Suman: Hi man, how are you. Was reading an article on google that your company is cutting down on head count. Do you know anything about it?

Venke: Just got to know man. Its very tense situation over here. I have a meeting on monday. dont really know what is going to happen.

Suman: Dont worry man. Renjith can take care of the situation.

Venke: How can he take care of the situation.

Suman: He was the one who called you for a meeting

Venke: ohhh. i will kill that guy

Venke calls me up after getting a dosage of his own medicine

Venke: Man, you are crazy. I was shocked.

Me: You should be. Hope you dont forget to invite us for the wedding

Venke: I might forget inviting the girl but not you guys. Don't want to end up in such situation. I even booked the conference room for monday. One more request. Please don't tell this incident to anyone.

Me: Sure.... (LOL)